HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of SaNiTy AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE...
When wr!t!ng someth!ng, always use an exclamat!on po!nt where there !s a
lower case "i" to make !t look as though you are wr!t!ng !t ups!de-down.
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Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
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Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear
them one day after your boss does.(This is especially effective if your
boss is the opposite gender.)
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Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For
example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'
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While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
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Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
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Insist that your e-mail address be
zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
or mailto:
Elvis_the_King@companyname.com>
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Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
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Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
dancing.
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Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
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Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
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Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
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For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and
snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you
can catch in your mouth.
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Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc. in the
break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub
your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
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Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
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When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield
wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'emtuned up.
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Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
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Practice making fax and modem noises.
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Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your
boss.
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Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
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Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the
entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
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Dont use any punctuation
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As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
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While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
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At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars
to see if they slow down.
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Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
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Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
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Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
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Honk and wave at strangers.
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Decline to be seated at a restaurant, then eat the complimentary mints by
the cash register.
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TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
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type only in lowercase.
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What?" "Never mind. It's gone now."
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Sing along at the opera.
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Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
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Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
- By BatoolM