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[kulsham]

Types Of Women

>HARD-DISK Woman:
>She remembers everything, FOREVER.

>RAM Woman:
>She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

>WINDOWS Woman:
>Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

>EXCEL Woman:
>They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four
>basic needs.

>SCREENSAVER Woman:
>She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

>INTERNET Woman:
>Difficult to access.

>SERVER Woman:
>Always busy when you need her.

>MULTIMEDIA Woman:
>She makes horrible things look beautiful.

>CD-ROM Woman:
>She is always faster and faster.

>E-MAIL Woman:
>Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

&

>VIRUS Woman:
>Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs
herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will
lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose
everything............

[Yas]

Feel free to classify yourselves amongst those.

[manji2005]

[Umm.aly]

loll gud ones.. unfortunately there is no wonderful women for me to classify myself under it.. ahem.. LOL!

[Sajida]

LOL so very right muhaddisa!

[kulsham]

There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship,they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.

Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?

The perfect woman.
She's the only one that really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man..

* A Male's Response *

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

[kulsham]

Men are like.......

.....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

.....Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

.....Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

.....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

.....Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

.....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

.....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.


.....Handguns.
Keep one around long enough, and you're going to want to shoot it.

[kulsham]

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?", comes the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a 'man,' Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you, he'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball
about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

[kulsham]

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist....

....."Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex. "

"But you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.

[kulsham]

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.

"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes.
`Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then I can rest in peace'."

"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.

"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably.

"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral.' I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."

"And the third envelope?" asked her friends.

"The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'

Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said, "So, do you like my stone?" showing off her ten carat diamond ring...

[Umm.aly]

those were really gr8! keep posting!

[Sajida]

Very nice ones!hehe

[Sayyeda]

Hahaha... good ones!!!

[kulsham]

thank you so much for your attention ...
thank you Muhaddisa
thank you...sajida
thank you sayyeda

thank you yas

thank you manji...
awww im cho happpy... :-)

[kulsham]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark:

"That's Strange!"