Deep thoughts
Posted: 19 Nov 2005, 22:36
These are from an actual newspaper contest where entrants
ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack
Handey."
"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last,
which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on,
who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"
--Age 15
"It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's
birthday, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we
would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on
July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends." -Age 8
"I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of
Halloween." -Age 13
"For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green
cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a
big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave
it out." -Age 6
"When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he
better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell." -Age 5
"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and
visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and
quiet it would be until the looting started." -Age 15
ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack
Handey."
"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last,
which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on,
who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"
--Age 15
"It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's
birthday, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we
would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on
July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends." -Age 8
"I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of
Halloween." -Age 13
"For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green
cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a
big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave
it out." -Age 6
"When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he
better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell." -Age 5
"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and
visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and
quiet it would be until the looting started." -Age 15
:)