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[Muhammad Mahdi]

Ralphie Lay was racing his car when he crashed it into a concrete wall and it was crushed so badly that it was only a foot in length! But, Ralphie was unscathed!! How is this possible?!!





Answer
Ralphie was racing his remote control car and crashed it, therefore Ralphie couldn't get hurt because he wasn't in it!

[Muhammad Mahdi]

There are three houses built exactly the same. One is filled with cotton, the other with wood, and the third with iron. One day an arsonist sets them all on fire. Sirens were loudly coming to the scene. People were screaming. Which house did the ambulance try to put the fire out at first?



Answer
Ambulances do not put out fires.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

The local high school has a rule against married students in the school. Betty Jones is there every day in the classroom, yet she is married. How could this be, if Betty is married, yet still in the high school?



Answer
Betty Jones teaches at the local high school, therefore, she is in the classroom everyday and in the high school every day.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

Since there are 365 days in a year, 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, 60 seconds in a minute, how many seconds are there total in a light year?



Answer
NONE.

A second is a measurement of TIME. A Light Year is a measurement of DISTANCE.

You might as well ask, "How many seconds are in a mile", as to ask how many are in a light year.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

The captain of the fool's guard stood over a young man, bravely standing before him and his men.
"Do you confess to murdering the king?" the captain roared.
"No," said the young man. "I do not."
"Right then," said the captain, turning to his men. "Clap him in irons, then"
A minute later the young man was laughing and running free, while the captain glared at his men.
"Really," he thought. "Next time I'll insist on more intelligent candidates to select my guard from."

What had happened?



Answer
The guards took the captain literally, and rather than putting ("clapping") the "irons" on the young man, then instead put them on themselves, and applauded (they clapped the young man (while) in irons).

[Muhammad Mahdi]

I'm between .56 and 100
I'm not a decimal
I'm not 100
I'm not even
I'm not in the middle tens
I'm lower than 50
I'm above 2
I'm less than 10
I'm not 7
I don't go into 10
What am I





Answer
The answer is the word "and"
It's between .56 and 100 letters
It's not a decimal ( You can't have decimal letters!)
It's not 100 letters
It's not an even # Because it isn't a #
There aren't between 50 and 59 letters
The word has more letters than 2
There are less than 10 letters
There are not 7 letters
The word and does not go into the word ten.

So The word "and" fits the bill.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

What rises in Hawaii,
runs in San Francisco;
and stands still in Antarctica?




Answer
Water

Evaporates in the hot temperatures in Hawaii.

Stays in liquid form and runs in the moderate temperatures of San Francisco.

Stands still as ice in the freezing Antarctica.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

In Scrabble, is it possible to place down the word "kick"?



Answer
It is possible, but only when using a blank. (There is only 1 K).

[Muhammad Mahdi]

When the winners are announced for the neighborhood bike race- 2 people are announced- Drae and Earl-but Earl crossed the finish line 1/2 second before Drae.
How can that be?



Answer
They were riding a tandem bicycle- or 2 person bike.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

Which three numbers have been used to make up this phrase?


HIT OFF ENTIRETY




Answer
THIRTEEN, FIFTY, and 0(zero)

[Muhammad Mahdi]

800 things fell off a shelf, yet only one sound was heard. How can this be?



Answer
800 pages fell off the shelf, but one book off the shelf.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet.
He turns to the rich man and says to him,
"I have an amazing talent: I know almost every song that has ever existed."
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, "I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it."
The rich man laughs again and says, "Ok how about my daughters name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller."
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?




Answer
"Happy Birthday."

This song can be sung with anyone's name in it.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should help you get started.

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

Okay, here's your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon."



Answer
"No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

So, how did *YOU* do?

[Muhammad Mahdi]

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet.
He turns to the rich man and says to him,
"I have an amazing talent: I know almost every song that has ever existed."
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says, "I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it."
The rich man laughs again and says, "Ok how about my daughters name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller."
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?




Answer
"Happy Birthday."

This song can be sung with anyone's name in it.

[Muhammad Mahdi]

A man wanted to get into a members only club so he hid and watched the guard at the door of the club house. The guard said a number to each member as they approached, and the member would respond with a number of their own. If the member responded with the correct number they were let in. If they responded incorrectly they were thrown out. One member come up to the door, the guard said twelve, and the member responded with six and was let in. Another member came to the door, the guard said six and the member responded with three and was let in. Believing he had heard enough, the reject went up to the guard. The guard said ten, and the reject said five, but was not let in. What should the reject have said?



Answer
He should have said three, the number of letters in the number the guard said