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[abuali]

Salaam Alaykum

I had a very interesting discussion with a friend earlier which resulted into a line of thought as regards the norms of finding suitors and marriage in our community in Dar es Salaam and Tanzania.

Hence, I thought of starting this topic to see which are the main reasons for youths not getting married early...or delaying marriage

Please put forward elaborations to the vote on the poll so that we can all discuss the reasons

[smak786110]

Very interesting Topic Hasin :)
Well, I think of the young people are still enjoying to have girl-friends and dont wnna have only 1 wife
or
Some maybe are scared to get marry coz if their wife wont be good,and maybe family problems arrive as they maybe hv seen in their own communities...

[abuali]

Some maybe are scared to get marry coz if their wife wont be good,and maybe family problems arrive as they maybe hv seen in their own communities...

really...

What about the ladies view point on what smak786110 has mentioned : -

Well, I think of the young people are still enjoying to have girl-friends and dont wnna have only 1 wife Razz

21 views...4 votes :?

[smak786110]

Everyone is getting scared after reading the word MARRIAGE !!!

[Sayyeda]

Some maybe are scared to get marry coz if their wife wont be good,and maybe family problems arrive as they maybe hv seen in their own communities...

Well... to be honest... what smak786110 has written is true! I know some people who have seen the bad side of marriage... be it parents, or relatives! And sadly, thats one of the reason why 'some' of the youths refuse to get married!

[Muntazir]

Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim

As Salaamu 'aleykum

It is very shocking on how everybody thinks on getting married these days. People, Allah and our prophets have promised us for a full support and success, are you still SCARED then? This is a wrong mentality my brothers and sisters. The western culture is now taking effect on all of us! Having girlfriends and boyfriends isn’t a problem, nor does it scare us, but when it comes to marriage, oh boy! This is completely wrong.

There is nothing like marriage my friends, think hard and stop having negative opinions on this great act given to us as a mercy by Allah (s.w.a).

2. Those people who say, “It is the time we enjoy first” are indeed surrounded by the whispers of Shaitan. My dear friends, there is nothing like being young and settling down with the only person you will spend the rest of you life with. Nothing like it!

I wish I could explain you these feelings that I have seen in my friends in Qum. Young and so much in love, away from home but never been so happy before, they study far away from each other, yet, they seem so close, communication is a big problem, still, they never complain, they say, my heart tells me when she thinks of me, and my heart complains to why I stay so far away from her, when we meet, the heavens and the earth celebrate our joy, what a feeling there is, I wish I could explain them to you.


Think!


As Salaamu ‘aleykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatu

[abuali]

8 votes...

Please feel free not only to explain the obstacles you feel are facing youths in Dar es Salaam but also feel free to offer solutions that you feel may work...thats if you think delaying marriage is a problem in the first place

[*SweetY*]

The main reasons i hear for delaying marriage is to complete education. I think many people delay marriage because they are not ready for the responsibilities and are not mentally matured.

[abuali]

Is it an issue with our community that continuing education after marriage is difficult?

Say, if a couple get married at about 20, would it be difficult for both of them to continue studying?

Ali, lets put this poll on the portal...

[Muhammad]

YYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP!! thats what our community members UNFORTUNATELY think..that it wil affect their studiz n that they(the girls side) think that they wil just hav to take care of the house no matter in what way u explain them.
what they say "whats the hurry for?"..."we hav a whole life to live"...let us finish studiz n marry wen we r lyk 25... :?

[Tayyaba]

well not all girls think like that...prophet has said acquire knowledge from cradle to grave,so why do we put education to a stop when we women get married..but what i also think is its not necessery for a woman to go outside to UNI and study she can do it from home. so it is not difficult continuing education after marriage unless the in laws have a problem.
and the part of taking care of the house i think most women have joy and dont feel its a burden taking care of the family and the house.

but the problem is that these days youth have become to picky and i have heard some say that i want a thin partner and a cute partner ...yes not that you shouldnt but also see the partners character and all instead of just looking at the physical bit!

another reason is why youth dont get married early is because they or we are told the negative side of marriage instead of telling us the positive side.! so it just discourages us all!

why is it that girls taking their proposals to guys is llooked down upon ??

[abuali]

why is it that girls taking their proposals to guys is llooked down upon ??

good question. I dont think Islam has a problem with that. Infact I would feel Islam would recommend the girls side approaching the guy if they find a pious guy...but thats just my thoughts.

[Muhammad]

i wud say our indian culture....

[qarrar]

Last three posts were spot on, all issues raised are very correct except for this statement.

... the part of taking care of the house i think most women have joy and dont feel its a burden taking care of the family and the house.

Household chores in today’s climate are not seen as woman’s job only, they are either shared or the guy needs to get ear muffs

[Muntazir]

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Rahim

As Salaamu 'aleykum

I pray you all are in the best of health as I am here.

I was just wondering, doesn't the person's personaliy matter? I mean, many of the brothers have involved themselves in worldly pleasures that make difficult for the sisters to find a nice partner, and the same goes to our sisters as well. So doesn't this really matter? I think this is a common problem in our society. Let's discuss about this and try to find a solution.

As Salaamu 'aleykum